Dear Readers,
This is not ace-specific, but I wanted to share it with you since it annoys me. I already wrote a couple of articles about dating, but this is something that I dislike: someone wasting my precious time!
I recently had one of those situations. I was chatting with someone for a while, and actually, I really liked the conversation we had. It was not super exciting, but at least it was a good conversation, and that gets rather rare these days.
So we chatted about 3 months or so. Not regularly, but yeah, every once in a while.
At some point, he asked me if I wanted to meet and check out one of the art exhibitions. I liked the approach. I’m not going out for a coffee or dinner, but an exhibition is at least something different. So I agreed. They also told me the exhibition would be in town in around 2 weeks. Ok, great, no problem with that. But then again, we weren’t chatting regularly. So I was doubtful, but ok, I didn’t want to judge them. Just because I had problems with consistency before doesn’t mean everybody is the same.
Well, the date we were supposed to meet came closer and closer, and nothing happened as expected. So, a day prior, I wrote a message. The reply came instead: “I’m so sorry. I really wanted to write to you. Something happened. I can’t make it tomorrow!”
Oh, fuck off… really!
This doesn’t deserve even an answer!
Although I understand that life is life and things happen, please don’t think I’m stupid or disrespect me by wasting my time! I could have planned something different that day. They could have just told me once it happened or the day after. But as usual, things are more convenient when you ignore them until they hit you in the face…
So, for me, there are a couple of rules that you should follow when you consider dating (that’s valid for everyone, not just aces) :
1. if you date, then date to find a partner and don’t play games
2. respect other people’s time and feelings
3. prioritize communication
4. be open-minded
There are a thousand other rules that you can follow and pick from, as you can read in my sources, but I think these four are the most important ones for me.
And please don’t be okay with someone who doesn’t appreciate your time, your values, your feelings, or can not communicate. These are basic necessities within a relationship! If they don’t do them while dating, they won’t do them in a relationship!
What are your experiences? Do you have dating rules?
Best,
Ace
(sources: https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a29703384/dating-rules-to-follow/, https://www.mamamia.com.au/modern-etiquette-for-relationships/, https://www.brides.com/the-essential-dating-rules-1022100, https://www.wondermind.com/article/toxic-dating-rules/, https://www.vogue.com/article/rules-dating-in-your-30s,)