Dear Readers,
In the last two to three months of 2025, I struggled a lot with my past. I had to answer uncomfortable questions. But we all know these situations, whether it is an office party, a birthday party or a normal family gathering, especially as an Ace questions like “Why are you still single?” or “When are going to finally get married?” or worse something along the lines of “If you would dress a bit better someone would be interested in you!”. I know that sometimes these sentences are not supposed to hurt but encourage the other person, but we all know they really don´t. Most of the time, they make things worse. And especially when you are not out, and your family doesn´t know, or when you specifically decided not to come out to them, which can be fair.
So how can you avoid or respond to uncomfortable questions without creating a fight?
First, I would say it´s good to be prepared. Not for any specific question, but for the fact that there could be uncomfortable questions you really don´t want to answer. Not being surprised by it makes the reaction easier.
Which brings me to my second point. If you know that there will be questions, decide how much you want to disclose to others. That doesn´t mean you need an exact answer to every question, because that´s not possible, but you can be clear about what you want to disclose and what you want to shut down immediately.
If you know that at this party or gathering, there will be people who will ask unsuitable questions, you can also ask others for support ahead of time if you want. If you have someone around who knows and accepts you as you are. Ask to join in if a conversation gets too intrusive. Arrange a sign in case you need help beforehand, and your conversation partner might be able to lead the conversation in another direction.
Also, try not take things too personally. I know that is a hard one, but not taking things personally helps to distance yourself from the topic. Society mostly dictates what´s considered “normal,” so people have a hard time accepting or considering things that fall outside the social norms for that specific time period.
This means you can get into an uncomfortable question at any time. Here are some examples for answers that might help you in these conversations, especially for your dating situation:
- Right now, I really enjoy being where I am
- I don´t date right now. I´m enjoying my own company.
If you want to add a bit of humor:
– If I start sharing that, I’ll have to charge admission.
- My dating life is about as interesting as my email inbox.
Or when you want to be direct:
- I really don´t want to talk about that right now!
- Could we please change the topic? How are you doing?
- I appreciate your concern, but this is a sensitive topic for me, and I’m not ready to share.
Do you have a specific answer? If yes, please let me know!
Best,
Ace
Choose your language: Arabic, German
(Sources: https://theeverygirl.com/uncomfortable-questions-at-family-gatherings/, https://adulting101guide.medium.com/how-to-survive-small-talk-at-a-family-gathering-3999b9303488, https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-shut-down-intrusive-questions-8713339, https://www.speakconfidentenglish.com/uncomfortable-questions-english/)