Dear Readers,
I’ve heard plenty of things in my dating life, especially regarding being ace. But today, the experience really caught me off guard—emotionally, I think it surprised me more than anything yet!
I haven´t been online on a dating app for a while. I wasn´t feeling like it, and to be fair, I was sick of it. Dating apps can be so very exhausting. You have numerous opportunities, but at the same time, most of the conversations you start end up going nowhere. Not necessarily because I´m ace; most of the time, you don´t even get to that point, but because there´s no real conversation or they or I are not interested
Today, I had a bit of time, so I thought I would try again. I was liked by a few people, and I liked them back; as a result, someone wrote me a message. I answered, and we were talking for a few minutes. At some point they asked me if I was single and I my answer was “yes”. They also asked me why I was single, and I answered honestly that I had a hard time finding someone who was interesting. I then asked them if they were single and, if so, why.
Their answer was “I´m a virgin! I haven´t had sex yet!” and I was surprised and very intrigued. I answered that I could feel them and that I´m asexual myself, and that I respect them not having had sex.
The answer was:
“Nooo, nooo that´s not for me, I really, really want to have sex! “
Umm… ok! What? I was confused, and when I expressed my confusion, they answered me
“You are disgusting!”
Uhhh… WTF?
I genuinely wondered where things went wrong. Did we switch to an entirely different conversation? I felt like I was suddenly in an alternate reality
Now I´m the disgusting one because I don´t want to have sex and actually respect someone’s wishes?
My takeaway from this: Even if they lead with asexuality, it doesn´t necessarily mean they are asexual. People will say anything just to get what they want!
Did any of you have similar experiences?
Best,
Ace