Dear Readers,
I recently had a spontaneous date. I´m not a fan of those, cause I like to write and maybe talk on the phone for a while before I meet someone.
I know this is frowned upon a lot, but I feel like phone communication is pretty much the same as face-to-face. If the electronic communication sucks, the in-person communication is usually not significantly better. Don´t come for me; I´m speaking from MY experience over the last 20 years. It doesn´t mean there are no exceptions. I´m sure there are.
So I wasn´t in a very good mood, so I decided to go for it instead of moping alone at home. Unfortunately, the date was as I expected. Not super bad, but not super interesting either. And at the end, the person sent me a message saying that they would have a physical relationship with me, but nothing more. As you can imagine, I declined that offer.
But after all of this, I asked myself what the ideal date would look like for me. What would a good date be like?
Don´t get me wrong, it definitely needs to be with the right person. Meaning I need to like the person, and it´s also not about where to go, who´s paying, or anything like that. It´s more about what I would like to experience.
And then the other day, a few days after the semi-comfortable date I had, I met an ex-colleague of mine that I haven´t seen in a hot minute. We never lived in the same city, so on the few occasions we met in person, we really got along super well. Always in a platonic way, no other feelings.
And while we were eating our dinner and having an in-depth conversation that moved fluidly from serious topics to lighthearted ones, they gently reached for my hand—an expression of their affection through touch, which is their love language—and interlaced their fingers with mine. In that moment, a sense of ease and genuine connection settled over me, highlighting the importance of feeling truly comfortable around someone. It clarified for me that, on an ideal date, I want to experience that kind of effortless comfort, where interaction feels natural and unforced.
What´s the most important thing that you would feel like when you are on a date?
Best,
Ace