Dear Readers,
As I already mentioned in one of my first posts I identify as Grey-ACE. But the reason that led me to believe I’m not on the ACE spectrum at all is the fact, that I don’t have a problem with erotic or sexual content in books or movies. Actually, quite the opposite: I enjoy it way more than the experiences I had in real life.
As a teen you experiment and sometimes you think maybe it´s not the right partner or the right situation, or maybe you don´t have enough feelings for the person. And you always wonder when you will have that amazing experience you read or hear about. What does it take to get you there? Or is everybody else exaggerating? Do I do something wrong? Am I broken? All the self-doubt that you have as a teen quadruples…
But I grew up and it didn´t get any better. It was then that I realised „Ok, I´m the weird one!“ (and by the way, weird to me, is a positive thing. Who wants to be „normal“, right?).
So discovering the ACE spectrum helped me to understand, that I am and probably always have been in the upper grey area of the spectrum. Now that I am doing a lot of research I find myself wondering if Aegosexual would be a more fitting label for me than grey.
But what is aegosexual?
The definition of aegosexual according to the AVENwiki:
“Someone who experiences sexual arousal to sexual content but does not usually desire to engage in sexual behavior.”
What does aegosexuality look like?
There are a couple of characteristics that help you to identify whether you are aegosexual or not
- You have fantasies of other fictional characters or celebrities being intimate
- You might masturbate but being intimate with someone else is not appealing
- You might even feel repulsed by the thought of having to be intimate yourself
- You can be aroused by explicit content in movies or books.
Does it sound like voyeurism to you? Well, aegosexuality is often confused with the kink of voyeurism.
Is there a difference and if yes what is it?
Explaining the difference between the two is really hard.
I would compare it with the production of a movie: As a voyeur you see the people interacting with each other and you include yourself. This means in the scene the director sees two people being intimate while a third person that you see in the scene is watching. The third person is the voyeur. Voyeurism normally includes sexual attraction to the people or person you watch. Voyeurs still desire to be personally and physically intimate with someone, they see themselves as a third part of the intimate act they imagine or see.
As an Aegosexual you are the director of the scene and you direct or imagine what happens in front of you. You are not part of the scene yourself.
Now am I aegosexual?
Writing this I´m thinking yes, most probably. Explaining that to somebody is going to be really fun 
What about you? Did you find a micro label on the ACE spectrum that might fit you better than the first one you discovered or was it pretty clear to you from the beginning?
Yours, ACE
(Sources: https://www.kinkly.com/definition/17639/aegosexuality, https://orientation.fandom.com/wiki/Aegosexuality. http://wiki.asexuality.org/Asexuality, https://weareher.com/aegosexual/)
