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The sense of belonging

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Dear Readers,

All your friends are getting married and having children, and your family has been bugging you for years with questions like “When are you gonna get married?” or “Don’t you want at least a relationship?” And your eyes roll back in your head because you have had that conversation about a thousand and one times. It feels like you are listening to a broken recorder that cannot be stopped. 

As aces, we all know the sense of not belonging anywhere. Judged by society and sometimes even family for not wanting what “everybody needs and wants, “we feel isolated and lonely.

But please don’t give up on yourself or people. Some will never understand, but some might be open to what you have to say or even relate. 

I try to live with the motto: 

If you want a change, be the change!

Sometimes, it helps to check if there are ace communities around your city. I have been to an asexual community meeting that my city offers, and I have to say that it´s probably not something for me. But for others, this can be a great place to start meeting people who feel the same or at least a similar way. ( I might give it another try and then write down my experiences in a separate article.)

If you are really, really remote, Facebook and Instagram, TikTok (which is not in the US anymore), or blogs are good options for connecting with others. Sometimes, it helps to just read that someone has the exact same experiences as you have had. Sometimes, it helps just to be there for each other and have someone to listen to who doesn´t judge you but understands your mindset.

These are my Facebook and Instagram accounts.

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61554412439033
https://www.instagram.com/d_oa_ace

I´m always open to talking in DMs to exchange ideas and experiences. 

It´s important to talk about asexuality and what that means, but it´s also important not to force it on others. Timing is essential, as well as knowing whether a person is receptive to what you are saying. 

Sometimes, we wish that our loved ones just understood what and who we are and accepted us for who we are, but unfortunately, that sometimes needs time. So, for the time being, it´s nice to know that we always have the ace community to count on and that there are others out there who appreciate and understand us.

What do you think?

Best,

Ace

Choose your language: German, Arabic

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