Dear Readers,
Have you ever had a conversation where you told someone you are Ace and they answered: ” Oh don’t worry – I understand!”?
It happens very rarely, but I’ve experienced it not necessarily from the get-go, but after a bit of explanation. And I really felt relieved.
Finally, someone who gets me! I’m always grateful if someone asks questions rather than just dismissing what I say.
What I forgot in all of this is that people lie. Especially while dating. Not just about their appearance, but also about their character or just to make them more interesting or don’t get dismissed from the other person.
As I mentioned before I’m super upfront with being Ace since I know it, because I don’t want to waste anyone’s time. So I was upfront with this person as well. We texted on an app and since we lived in the same city they wanted to meet pretty quickly, which is a big red flag to me (I’m aware that some of you might think differently). I was in that weird phase where I thought meeting someone would be a great idea, so I agreed. We met at the lake for a walk and had actually a great conversation. We talked again about me being ace and I asked them repeatedly if they understood what that meant. They were offended. “As a biologist, I’m aware of what asexual is!” Was their answer.
I was thrilled. That meant I didn’t need to explain that much! Amazing!!
We decided to meet up again the week after. They suggested cooking together at their place and I agreed. Even though meeting someone for the second time at their home is definitely stupid.
My gut told me to be careful, but most times, you just do it anyway.
They picked me up from the subway, we went grocery shopping together and we arrived at their place and I expected us to start cooking. But instead of helping me, they try to get closer. They kissed me and normally I would be ok with that, but in this case, I wasn’t. I repeated that I am ace and that we talked about it and their response blew my mind: “Asexuality only exists in a botanical context!”
WTF!!!
Do I look like a damn flower?
Needless to say, I was pissed. I packed my stuff and left. I felt sick and once out of the house, I vomited on the sidewalk. And I’m normally not repulsed!!
They even dared to ask for a new date! I wrote them a text telling them directly what happened that day and to literally fu** off.
Someone else that I told that it was not going to work out between us said they would come back in a few years and see how I was doing since nothing was going to happen relationship vise for me…
People can be rude and inconsiderate, but I’m still hopeful that I will find someone that gets me and takes me just the way I am.
What about you? Have you ever experienced something like that?
Best, Ace
