Dear Readers,
You were interested in some of my dating stories and well I thought I would share one that makes me cringe even today.
So I started dating again after I came out of a long-term relationship. I was heartbroken and definitely not up for dating again. But I didn’t know better and thought that I would need to “get back out there” and find something serious. From my phrasing, you can already guess that this is really not a good starting point.
Well, I got to know someone through gaming, and in the beginning, I was happy to talk to them and I’m not going to lie, I loved the attention after being dumped. I didn’t feel any attraction towards them, but at the time I didn’t think much of it, because I was very used to that feeling and over time we became so close that we talked every day. Either we chatted or talked on the phone or both for hours in the evenings.
We were living around 600km (around 373 miles) apart at the time, so at some point, I decided that I would visit them. I knew that they were living alone, but they also made it clear that their family was living close by and that they would come over and visit more or less regularly.
This is probably going to be controversial, but I’m not a fan of meeting the person’s family early in a relationship. And I’m not doing that myself. At a certain point in your relationship, you can do that, but not within the first 6 months and sure as hell not on the first official date.
I told them straight away that meeting his family was not an option for me. I told them I would come and see them and given the 600 km I would stay for 1,5h days (so going Friday and leaving Sunday), but I made it clear that I wanted to meet them and them alone. No family and they agreed.
As you can imagine it came differently. Friday evening when I arrived we talked a lot and got to know each other better. It felt good. The next morning, we got breakfast and I went to visit the restroom in their house, when I heard a key in the door and a “Good morning ” from a female voice. His mother… I hid in the bathroom as long as possible, but at some point, I needed to come out.
” I brought you breakfast I thought you might be hungry and I wanted to get to know you!” She said when I came to the living room. My panic, my anger, and my nausea kicked in… great.
When she left they told me that we would visit their sister and her boyfriend. We were surrounded by family pretty much the entire time.
We tried to be intimate as well, but due to me being super uncomfortable and thinking I would need to be ok with everything, it failed. Not feeling comfortable in a situation is not only difficult for ACEs but for anybody. But being ACE definitively doesn’t help and I didn’t even know at that time.
As you can imagine I got mad at them. I confronted them and told them that I made it very clear I didn’t want to meet their family. And their answer was ” I thought you would change your mind”…
There are three things I got out of that experience.
Don’t believe everything someone tells you.
Even if someone tells you that they understand, they might not really.
Don’t date “just to see if it works” or because “it feels good to get attention”. In retrospect, I feel very bad about it.
And please guys get a hotel if you have to travel far, to meet your date or also friend for the first time. You can just get the hell out whenever you want.
Did you ever have a family date?
Yours,
ACE
